Okay, so I’m sitting in a Soul-Food restaurant with one of my best girlfriends (her restaurant of choice, not mine) trying to listen empathetically as she sops up syrup with her platter-sized waffle and bemoans the news she’s been given by her doctor–she has Type ll Diabetes. To which I reply: well, this is the last place you need to be eating right about now. I swear, girlfriend looked at me like I lost my mind…like I was speaking a foreign language…like I was a class-A idiot for even suggesting that her dietary choices might have something to do with her recently diagnosed condition. With eyes wide with insult she proceeded to tell me that I don’t seem to understand the fact that she was bound to get Diabetes. Her mother had it, her grandmother had it, and her great-grandmother had it…so it was just a matter of time before she got it, too. It’s genetic! Don’t you understand she yelled, nearly choking on the greasy chicken thigh she was devouring. I inherited this. Don’t blame the victim! Seeing the mentality I was up against, I quickly backed away from engaging any further in the conversation. Perhaps another time, when her blood sugar wasn’t sky-high from the bottle of syrup she so generously poured over that humongous waffle, we could have a rational discussion about the fact that we all have personal power when it comes to our health, and the dietary choices, and lifestyle choices we make either contribute to good health, or encourage rapid deterioration of the body. And just because you have a genetic predisposition to getting a certain disease, doesn’t mean you have to get it. As a matter of fact, it should be a warning sign for you to be more vigilant than ever about the choices you make to support good health. I’d bet you the farm, her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother all loved sugary, greasy, and unhealthy foods. So, what came first the chicken and waffles (diabetes) or the egg? Surely, I understand you can eat all the organic beansprouts and tofu you want and still get unlucky…especially in this world where every day you face an onslaught of environmental toxicity. But somehow, knowing you honored your temple with wholesome foods and exercise and did all that was in your power to ensure good health, gives one peace of mind and spirit.
I'd bet you the farm, her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother all loved sugary, greasy, and unhealthy foods. So, what came first the chicken and waffles (diabetes) or the egg?
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June 9, 2009
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good for you, she’s lucky to have such an honest and concerned friend. being healthy is a necessary choice that more of us need to make!!
DAYUMMMMM THAT CHICKEN AND WAFFLES LOOKS GOOD AS HAYELL! Im mad i dont work near a chicken and waffles place! that pic made me so hungry! Then I read the accompanying article/blog along with the pic. Hmm…i felt kinda guilty.
BUT NOT FOR LONG! PASS THE CHICKEN! LOL
While your friend was enjoying her meal, her brain was clogged. But I can guarantee, when she has time to sit down alone and digest what you told her, she will come to her senses and even come and tell you that you were right. My family has certain diseases lurking around. However, because I always learn from other people’s mistakes, I am taking the necessary precautions not to get the high blood pressure, diabetes, and conjestive heart failures. I’m eating right, walking, drinking plenty of water and not sweating the small stuff. Guess what? No diabetes, no high blood presssure and no heart problems. I’ll be 46 years old in two months and have not been in a hospital bed in years and am not on any prescribed medications. The buck stopped here. I wish your friend good luck.
You have written so clearly about the choices we have to make about how we treat our “temples”. I love this article and thank you for sharing your awareness with us.
Kim, way to go! All too often we accept things as an excuse to do things we should not be doing. For years I was a little too “thick” for my height. I tried to use the “big boned” excuse, then someone pointed out my wrists were tiny. I then tried to point out that people in my family were not skinny. It wasn’t until I faced the reality (I like bread and desserts more than I like vegetables and exercise) that I was able to lose 20 lbs and keep most of it off. Granted, there are diseases and conditions that are hereditary, however if you do all the right things at least you can say you did your part in prevention.
Kim, diabetes runs in my family. I’m currently carrying twenty pounds I don’t need. I hear you. Someone recently asked how do get motivated to exercise when you come from a family of couch potatoes and I replied, “Ask yourself if you want to die like the couch potatoes.” For most of my life I took care of myself and then I stopped. Well, thank Maude for second chances. Today, I take me and my baggage for a walk. I stopped the midnight runs and I eat oatmeal in the morning. My partner has diabetes. He was overweight and put on insulin. (By the way, we got fat together). He started exercising like a fiend and gave up the junk. He reads labels. He reads everything actually. Sugar-free is all over our house. Today he is thirty pounds lighter and no shots. He’s not perfect all the time but most of the time. It’s about what quality of life do you want? I want to walk without my knees hurting and the doctor giving me the news.
Well said. Let her be angry, let her get angry enough to put down the pancake!
pancake, waffle, whatever. LOL
you said it all.
You did the right thing by letting her know the truth which is what a good friend does. Unfortunately, your friend has a victim mentality. No matter what you say, she will always be on the defensive and she will feel like you are judging her…Don’t fall in the trap that some of us fall in… Which is saying what the other person wants to hear as opposed to what they have to hear… She should have taken her family’s health history as a warning sign and taken some precautions to prevent being in this situation.
Don’t let her use that genetic thing as an excuse! Stay on her butt…! You both will be happy that you did.
Well amen to you Sista K! I live in Pasadena and not to far from a Roscoe’s but knowing that hypertension and other hereditary diseases run in my family, I only visit there every blue moon. Everything this is good isn’t necessarily good for you. So I jump on your bandwagon in agreement with you. So keep the positive vibe/energy flowing. You have a new follower.
Make today beautiful……..from sir with love!
seriously…can u tell me the name of the place with that good lookin food? Is it Roscoes? cuz im bout to fly out just to eat some of that! I know thats not what this blog is about..but help a sister out! I dont have diabetes. mmkay? lol
Very well written and expressed.
I am a believer in telling the truth, as well.
But, as the Bible says, a fool doesn’t really want to get understanding, they just want to be heard.
I hope that after her blood sugar normalizes she’ll come to her senses and listen to you and others, and seek out wisdom to help empower herself.
I’ve always loved your humor, Kim, and look forward to more blog articles from you.
It’s been 20 years since my husband was diagnosed with
type 2 diabetes. It wasn’t “in the family” other than his uncle had it. We learned very quickly that not just sugar is bad for his sugar readings. We learned that anything with too much fat can skyrocket them as well as too many empty carbs.
His doctors were shocked when they signed him up for classes to learn how to eat to help keep his sugars in control, when they gave him a little book to do a food journal he handed them back a notebook asking “you mean like this”? They told him he was a rare bird because many people have an emotional roller coaster until they come to terms with their condition.
His doctor told him as did the food counselor every now and then you can have a piece of cake or a donut.That way you do not feel deprived and it’s easier to stay on your diet. You are right too, when the sugars get too high, the temper goes with them, when they go too low the person can sometimes seem drunk and disoriented.
It just takes some time and patience to work through the problems. For awhile my husband didn’t believe it, but soon he began to eat right and has done very well so far.
Your friend is lucky to have you.
Kim, Your blog really makes people think about what foods we put in our body. I have a weakness for sweets, but I know I have to remind myself to eat healthier to feel even better!
Thank you for your blog on this. Being an African American male carrying extra weight, this hits close to home. I spoke to my wife about this. It’s like a pebble thrown into a river creates a ripple effect. This blog is causing a ripple effect with me and all of the bloggers now. Thank you sensei.
Just today in the park seeing so many obese kids my daughter’s age (3-4 years olds)I was talking to my husband about people that don’t eat healthy and pass those habits on their children…
I have had serious problems with my weight as well, but I start doing something about it before it got out of control. No diets, just joined the gym and start eating smaller/healthier portions.
My daughter is growing up eating healthy and often she choose fruits over sweets, what makes me very proud.
By the way, I gave my daughter for Children’s Day two of Amy Hodgepodge books. She can’t read yet but she was very excited and walked around with them for the whole day… we will read them before bed time for the next couple of days now
Kim, I like the way you write. You’ve got good common sense…
but I’m on a different page…Where is Keenan? All your family is in here except the man of my dreams. Really, I’m getting frustrated, I think he’s the next best thing to…me!
Kim, I also was talked into doing a blog. Last week I didn’t have one nor did I read them. The title of your blog caught my attention. Of course I thought it was gonna be all about the chicken and waffles. It turned out to be very insightful. I know a lot of people who need to read it so I shared it on my FB profile and I’m emailing it to my mother. I had no idea you were such a good writer! Wow!
Thanks.
Hey friends,
Great dialogue about a very important topic– our health. I appreciate the comments and interest you all have expressed in this blog entry. Couturelady1 – Keenen is so busy raising his FIVE kids, he doesn’t have time for anything else! I’ll tell him you asked about him, though.
I’m with you. Just because there’s a history in her family doesn’t mean she SHOULD have Type ll Diabetes also. She has to learn how to say NO to the grease and sugar and YES to a healthier way of life.
We need more people like you who watch what there eating
People make their own choices even when they know they’re making bad ones. Just like the alcoholic who has a pickled liver but still has a glass of wine. All you can do is offer your opinion to express your love and concern for the way that person is contributing to their health problems. You have to let them do them. The consequence wouldn’t be your fault.
You are a wise woman!!!
This was so necessary for me to read right now. I know that diabetes also runs in my family but doesn’t have to run thru me. I was diagnosed 2 Yrs ago, I didn’t have to be. With exercise and a proper diet I could be off meds and don’t have to be plauged by the side effects that I have seen my family suffer. Thank You Kim for the Food for thought w/o the syrup!! Love Ya
That’s hilarious and so true. My Grandmother would rather loose a toe (one of the remaining eight) before she puts down a plate of greens. For the most of us I think it would be a no brainer. But for her its not. There’s really a debating process “Neck bones or my big toe.. hmnnn?” LOL