D ear Michael,
I’m writing you this letter from my little girl heart; the heart that never got the chance to tell you all you meant to me, and how very much I adored you. I remember like it was yesterday, the day Mama called us all into the living room to see a most wondrous thing: it was you and your brothers performing on Soul Train. For me, it was love at first sight. I knew then, as I knew until I was about 25 years old, that you were the one. Along with death and taxes, one thing that was fo’ sure — I was going to marry Michael Jackson. Every song you sang, I believed you sang directly to me. And why wouldn’t you? Afterall, we were a match made in heaven. We were both from big families, both from poor backgrounds and my father was a Jehovah’s Witness, so I understood you better than your legions of other fans. Not only that, but people often told me we looked alike: brown-skinned, big eyed and round nose…I couldn’t be prouder. For my birthday, I had my mother buy me an Applejack hat, so I could look even more like you!
So many hours of my childhood were spent dreaming of the day I would meet you, and arguing with my other lovestruck girlfriends over who was going to capture your heart one of these days. Playtime was spent poring over the latest Right On Magazine, watching every single appearance you made on television, and trying to emulate your spiffy dance moves and the clear, high-pitched timbre of your otherworldly voice. I wrote you countless fan letters (none of which you probably received, or surely you would have written me back) and even went so far as to crash the casting offices of “The Wiz” in a desperate effort to gain a part in the movie and finally meet you. I didn’t even have a proper head shot; my running buddy, Esther (also a die-hard fan) and I handed over a couple of polaroids and were promptly chased out the office by security. One of the saddest days of my young life was when the Jackson Five performed at Madison Square Garden, and I couldn’t go because Mama just couldn’t afford the tickets. I cried myself to sleep that night, but vowed then that despite the overwhelming odds against it, I would never give up my quest to meet you.
Over the years, I, along with millions of other little girls, suffered the indignities of watching you go out on dates with Brooke Shields and Tatum O’neal…There’s still a little part of me that wants to scratch their eyes out! And don’t let me get started on that lucky girl who won on “The Dating Game”…she too, is on the list! As I grew up and moved into my later teen years, there were crushes here and there, and the occasional boyfriend, but I always knew they were just something to occupy the time until the “real deal” (that would be you) came along. Even in college, I had a big life-sized poster of you on my wall, and it never occurred to me to be embarrassed that here I was 18-19-20 years old, still in love with Michael Jackson. Heck, I even used to dress up in the black suit and white socks you wore on the “Off The Wall” album and perform for my friends, who’d scream and carry on as though I were really you. I guess you could say I was one of the first impersonators on the scene. During the summers in college, my girlfriends Val and Renee and I would go disco rollerskating at the Empire roller rink in Brooklyn. None of us could really skate a lick; most of the evening was spent watching all the “show-offs” whiz by with their fancy moves, while we wistfully longed for some better skills. But I tell you when “Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough” came on, something would possess our bodies and propel us out of our seats onto the floor. Somehow we’d managed to awkwardly make it dancing around the rink without getting steam-rolled by the “show-offs,” all the while singing our young hearts out and thinking of you.
Michael, the love I had for you and your brothers was shared by my entire family. We even tried to name our baby brother after you, but Mama said too many people were doing that and we had to choose a different brother, so we named him Marlon instead. Many years later, Damon, in honor of you, would name his son, Michael. Sadly, I never got the chance to meet you and thank you for all the joy you and your amazing music brought me, or for the inspiration and hope the Jackson Five provided to this other poor, large, black family. Conventional wisdom says that it’s too late to be telling you this, but my little girl heart knows better. It knows that a spirit as great and special as yours continues to receive well after the shell that housed it, has dissipated. Thank you for your life and the legacy you left to us all, but especially to me, of course.
With Love,
Kim
THATS FANTASTIC!!! what an awesome story. made me laugh and cry! (kinda reminds me of when i was in love with The Boys) hahahaha
Oh Kim. How you bring up a flood of thoughts and emotions. The details in your memories may vary from mine, but your heart for Michael, my heart for Michael are the same. Of course, that was his gift, right? To speak to each of us, love each of us as if he was sitting, singing, living right beside us. Thank you so much for your letter. Now, what all of us so loved about him is written – permanent and etched – like his spirit in our hearts. Love you, girl.
Wow I never knew u were gonna call marlon michael!…u learn new things everyday…
That’s what’s up!!! Mike Jack will live on forever, for there is life after death. The King of Pop is now with the King of all Kings!
Revelation 21:4
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
“REAL TALK, PRAISE AND ACKNOWLEDGE JESUS…HE IS ALIVE Y’ALL!!!”
Truth, Peace and Love
This is truly touching. Kim, I love your honesty, openness, and how you make others feel. Thank you!
Kim, you packed a lot in that blog. You may or may not know that I went to Jr. High School (I.S. 70) with some of your family. When the news broke Marlon tweeted that if there was no Michael Jackson there would be no Wayans, or words to that affect.
First of all I remember the talent shows we had at I.S. 70 where we would do skits and what not. Many students would perform MJ or some other Motown artist. MJ was the most popular, when he was with the Jackson 5.
I also remember my many nights as well being at the Empire Roller Rink flying around to anything MJ. Keep on with the force don’t stop….! I mean wow, it’s all sinking in with all the possible memories MJ and his music provides for so many, Positive memories!
While Reggae/Caribbean and African Music were my favorite genres, Motown, Curtis Mayfield, and MJ were right in my mix as well. So your words strike a meaningful chord with me, and I’m glad you were able to frame your condolences in such an eloquent manner.
Give my regards to Keenan, Damon, and Dwayne.
Peace & Love
Wow Kim! I was on an emotional rollercoaster reading this letter…What an Awesome story! Thanks for sharing with your fans.
That was absolutely beautiful! So eloquently written and emotion filled. I loved reading every word and somehow I’m certain MJ would have too. Thank you for sharing it with us! God bless.
~Mad
Thanks – I really needed to read that!
Aloha Kim.
Gone too soon…
Your words touch and break my heart at the same time! I can feel every emotion. How blessed we are to have had Michael in our lives… even if just for a short time, the memories are strong enough to stay vivid forever!
See you again one day, Michael, and thank you so much for everything you’ve unselfishly given us! God bless you and your family always.
Aloha ~
RLT
It is so amazing how much love we shared for this wonderful man, if only he had the chance to know people like us, who only wanted friendship, maybe he would have been happy in this life. God realized it was time for his angel to come home, he did what God put him on earth to do, May he rest in peace, we will always remember the joy he brought to our lives!!!!!!
I think that this letter was so heartfelt. I absolutely loved it. I like so many other including you had an on going love affair with Michael. I feel for him in death beacause there are people still trying to bring him down. Thats so sad.
Thank you for writing this and sharing it.
Thanks Kim!! With all the BS!! Im hearing and reading about M.J it feels good to hear from a true fan,this guy on 125th st tried to sell me a poster of mike with his name spelled wrong(Micheal) silly me didn’t notice till I was in McDs so u know what I did (yupp) I ran back down that block in my flats and jeans in 90 degrees2 get my green I told that fool give me my money he asked me how u know i spelled wrong? I said because u became a fan last night($$$) iv loved him all my life…. I hope ur letter 2 mike help u feel better and closer to him GODBLESS!!!
THANKS FOR THAT KIM, THAT WAS SO MOVING. I LIKE YOU WERE RAISED AS A JEHOVAH’S WITNESS AND MY MOTHER IS 84 STILL IS BUT ME NOT SINCE I WAS 21 40 NOW, WE ALL HAVE THAT BOND, ME, U, AND MICHAEL. HE WAS AN EXTRAORDINARY MAN. AS I POSTED ON MY FACEBOOK WALL TODAY, I SAID LET’S ALL NOT FEED INTO THE NEGATIVITY WITH THE MEDIA TODAY, LET’S JUST FOCUS ON HIS POSITIVE, SO WE CAN LIFT HIM UP AND HE CAN FINALLY REST IN PEACE. LET’S ONLY “REMEMBER THE TIMES”, HE PUT A SMILE ON OUR FACE WITH A SONG WE HEARD OF HIS, OR A DANCE MOVE HE DID. I LUV YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND THINK YOUR PERSONAL LETTER TO HIM WAS REAL, NOT JUST TO U, BUT PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF THAT NEVER MET HIM BUT FEEL A CONNECTION. HOPE YOUR HEART HEALS IN TIME OVER THIS LIKE MINE. MUCH LOVE MY SISTA.
Micheal has been a part of my life since early childhood. I can relate to Kim in many ways because I also had a crush on Micheal . His voice, dance moves, innovative creativity, & fashion all had me mezmorized! Micheal has the gift to touch all culture and races. I come from a Cuban refugee poor family living in Miami . I couldn’t go to his concert as a child because my family was poor. I will never forget the day that a family friend gave me a Micheal Jackson doll for my birthday , it was the coolest doll ever to me. When I was 10 I was a part of a school talent show and I performed to Man in the mirror and The way you make me feel, my teacher was and is a huge MJ fan so all the songs of the show were Micheal Jackson songs !! Looking back now I see the tremendous affect he had on so many ! Micheal is a gift from God ! He broke so many boundaries and so much humanitarian work on this earth, and raised so much awarness around the world ! I was so excited when Micheal announced his comeback concert, I had everything planned to go to London. Never been to London but I would go anywhere in the world to be close to him and see him perform . All I would talk about was the concert, I was so excited ! And on June 25th my heart was and is severly broken. Though I never met him I feel like I’ve lost a close friend, and I will never be the same again, the world won’t be the same. The millions of Jackson fans around the world have all list a piece of there heart ! Micheal’s spirit and love will live Forever !! And I will always miss him !!
I’m not surprised with the contents of what you have written in your letter because that’s your creative, skillful, and genius style of writing. Michael Jackson is and always will be the GREATEST ENTERTAINER IN THE WORLD. I too wanted to see The Jackson 5 when they performed in NY. Since I was the baby of the family my mom and dad scraped up the money for me to go with a couple of friends. Although we were in nose bleed seats(Way in the back of the balcony) I just used my cheap binoculars which brought Michael closer. I used to watch Michael and his brothers on Soul Train, Ed Sullivan and whenever they performed I was glued to the Television Set. My siblings used to laugh at me because I had my wall filled with pictures from cut up magazines, preferably Right On. They told me that celebrities don’t know who you are. I didn’t care because I knew that one day I would meet Michael in person and possibly go on a date. When he went through his trials and tribulations I just wanted to rub his back and let him know that everything would be alright. Of course that never happened. I was watching the Memorial Service at The Staple Center and tears were flowing down my face like a waterfall. I LOVE MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON AND I ALWAYS WILL. We all loved him but God loved him best! I know he is entertaining the angels.
Thank you Kim for your beautiful, humerous, emotional, and uplifting letter.
Luv ya gurl….
Our beautiful that, Michael was and always will be a bright person who will never be forgotten a pity he left so early but he will always be alive in each one of us, I love you Michael, now that he brightened the skies, Kim I love your family too, is with God.
There’s so much comfort in community…I knew I wasn’t alone in my sentiments about Michael, but it’s so nice to hear from all of you. We will all miss him so. Thanks for sharing.
Wow Michael, you’re so missed. How your love for creating joy for the sake of humanity empowered me as a foreigner while living in Mexico, to the status of an accepted citizen. It was 1981 and I was living in Guadalajara, (Jalisco) Mexico. When Thriller came out a year or two later, young folk and old went wild with excitement as I watched with my adopted Mexican family and friends the video, spell bound. Being one of the very few African Americans living in Guadaljara at that time, it was because of your popularity there Michael that pretty much kept the heat off me from feeling like and being seen as a peculiar outsider, an “extranjero, a foreigner.” I received the benefits of the world celebrating you and your music. At times, a family, with their children, would come up to me and would introduce themselves and would say: “We LOVE your music, jazz, blues and Michael Jackson’s music” and would ask my name and then introduce themselves, sometimes inviting me over join them if I were alone. I felt pretty much celebrated and a true amigo of the people there and was so proud of you Michael. Kids from school buses would call out of the window; “Michael Jackson!” and throw the universal peace sign up as they stuck their hands out of the school bus windows. They knew I wasn’t you Michael. They were identifying me with who you are and our common cultural roots and heritage, being African American. Dance and sing on dear Michael. Thank you for those unforgetable moments as I lived there pretty much in peace and amongst friends. May you rest in Peace beloved inspirer, our dear Michael. Ashe. . . .
Thanks for the opportunity for us to share our remembering Michael moments Kim. And your roller-skating moments are quite nostalgic with memories of occassional falls “trying to show off.” Touche!
No doubt Michael will never be forgotton and will be instilled in the many souls who enjoyed his music, his style, him for all time. He’s a legend.
That was SOOOOOO good! It made me cry and laugh at the same time, I too would buy the “Right On” magazines just to stare at Michael on the cover, HILARIOUS! I had forgotten!
Aaaawwww that was the sweetest letter ever!!!! I will always and forever love Michael Jackson too!!!!
You are a extraordinary writer, Kim!! In my mind, I was right there with you throughout your entire “flashback” in my mind and what a wonderful place to be! I had wanted to meet Michael all of my life..(not in competition for his affection, Kim. lol) I wanted to be a friend that he could count on no matter what. I wanted to be that person who would not give him everything that he craved because he would pay me to do so, but, for free, help him see the human being instead of always seeing the megastar. I feel as though I’ve lost a little brother, but only in body and not in spirit. There are those who tried to kill his spirit and almost succeeded, but the power of the Lord is greater than any man’s. So I’ll just say….”May your star shine bright among the Heavens, Michael, my little brother, as your spirit touches the hearts and minds of all who loved you then and love you still!!!”
Kim!
Geeesh you made me cry!!! You definitely say it best I must say my dear sister! Michael was my first boyfriend too! Thank you so very much for articulating what most of us are feeling.
Can’t stop crying,
Danielle Holland
http://www.paxstereo.tv
Awesome Story
I will alwayZ cherish his music
Dearest Kim,
I accidently stumbled upon your blog & immeadiately got a grin from ear to ear. (I Love Me Some KIM WAYANS!!!) Me & my best friend adore you! And, after reading this blog, I Love You now too! LOL. Your post really touched me. I’m still upset about Michael. Thank you for sharing your memories, and thank you for making me laugh a million times throughout my life!
Thank you again!
PAUL:.
PAUL – Thanks for all your adoration, I so appreciate it. Making folks laugh all these years has been great fun for me. I thank God for the ability.
Hi Kim, I’m from Brazil I’m a huge fan of all his family and wanted to say it here, I feel a very great love for you all is as if you were my family, kiss, and is with God.
I love you too Kim
Hi Kim
just wanted to thank you for all of your love and laughter down thru the years. I also loved me some MJ and i to would put posters of him all over my wall as well. Kim, you and your brothers are funny as hell lol ♥keep up the good work.May God continue to bless ya. P.S you are an amazing writer
HI KIM
WHEN CAN I SEE A MOVIE WITH YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS AGAIN?
LUCIANA – Thanks for the love. I love Brazil! It’s a beautiful country. My husband and I have been there twice so far!
MARY – You’re so welcome. Thanks for the support! I’ll be sure to post when the next Wayans Family production is on the horizon!
KIM, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON; MICHAEL/ EMPIRE ROLLER RINK/ RIGHT ON! MAGAZINE & OUR MEMORIES.. WE WOULD OF DEFINITELY BEEN FRIENDS IN HS., REALLY GREAT BLOG!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, (#1 FAN) FRANKLIN FUENTES
Damn you kim, i am sitting here crying. hat was beyond beautiful. Wow thank you for loving michael.
i mean t to spell that, not hat. lol
Kim hi okay?
I hope you answer me, you’ve got mail??
I’ma huge fan of you and your brothers Wayans, especially’m a fan of Damon Wayans, congratulations for producing the sitcom My Wife and Kids, as you already know I’m from Brazil and do not speak English, live in São Paulo and have a dream of one day know this whole family of comedians who are you, I do not know how to thank you, you are a beast you are very funny.
One day I hope to meet you.
Kim send a hug to your whole family from Elvira Wayans until Keen Ivory Wayans.
In living Collor congratulations!
i have a tough time believing that with you being on in living color, that you never had the ability to meet him, unfortunately the system wanted to destroy something that was above it… On the other hand, i have to think that he saw you, and he saw your family, and you gave him some joy in a world that isolated him from the rest of society… Michael’s death taught all of us understanding and forgiveness… It took his death to allow me to realize the star he was, and the similarities that we both share… We need more people keeping our brothers and sisters in a world filled with so much ignorance… I love in living color, and i just thought that you should know that what you’all created was the greatest masterpiece in comedy ever… And like i said Michael had to feel the same way about your show as you felt about him… Even though there were some crazy skits about him in there…
PS… Damon is one of the most naturally gifted comedians ever, and he needs to get back into the game, because i dont think that he has even touched the legacy that he needs to leave…. FORGIVENESS And UNDERSTANDING…
ULISSES – Thank you for your kind words about my family. I will tell them you said hello all the way from Brazil!
SEAN – I hope you’re right! I’ll tell Damon what you said:).
Your words are obviously from the heart… just like Michael’s music. He was truely a gift, a precious gift.
God bless you and your family as well; for had it not been for YOUR creativity and talent, I don’t know what (further) depressive state I would have fallen into, as I experienced a very abusive childhood (at the hands of my mother).
You provided an escape for me throughout some tumultuous years: the ability to laugh, peace of mind, strength of spirit, a space to dream, a time to plan my goals and a family I never had (yours)… allowing me to live vicariously through them; bringing forth the realization that, I too, can accomplish great things.
We MUST learn to say thank you while the person is here in the physical. So to you and the rest of the Wayans family, Thank You.
Genesis
kim again thank you for having answered me, my I admire you so much, especially Damon Wayans, because here today spends My Wife and Kids.
Wish you tell me if the movie will leave even the Wayans 2?
Kim one day I want you all, Kim English course but do not speak much, wanted to train so I had an idea that you wanted me to pass your address to letters we exchange, is for me to train my English and learn more about the Wayans .
I am 15 years old and live in Sao Paulo, Brazil!
Kim if you spend your address goes through my email: ulisses.porco @ hotmail.com
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Kim hello how are you?
Kim did not speak much English her, but we do try, Kim English course I do, I began now to take the course, and I had an idea to improve my English I was thinking of exchanging letters with you, or you I passed your address and I sent letters asking about the Wayans, speaking of Brazil, could it be?
it’s true that it will launch the movie White Chicks 2?
dream to one day meet you, or you will go in Brazil or that I see in America and get the autograph of you.
Kim this is my email: ulisses.porco@ hotmail.com
I hope I have your address please, about me, I’m 15 years old I live in and study and dream of being a journalist when he grows up.
And especially today watch My Wife and Kids kkkkkkk.